Day 18

Being on the albuterol inhaler has helped me feel much better. Still not healthy though.  I'm sick and tired of coughing!   Hot cider and soup are my friends still.  I picked up 5 guys for dinner after my daughters piano lesson.  While standing in the store waiting what seemed like for ever for the fries to cook I got started into a coughing fit. So frustrating.  I feel that I shouldn't be out in public at all.  Like I have the plague!

I ate fries for dinner.  I still have a very small appetite. Nothing really tastes good except that soup!   Yum!!

Day 17. Day of doctors

Woke up feeling worse this morning.  I was a little scared it was pneumonia.  Went to the dr...I had some wheezing but no pneumonia!  They tested me for the flu. I was positive for type A. At least I know that my feeling like I had the flu was because I actually did. ;) 

I took my son to be checked later.  Just to be sure.  This has been nasty stuff!

My mom brought us homemade chicken noodle soup for dinner.  It was delicious!   I ate two bowls.   Considering I've been living on hot apple cider. That was a lot of food!  

I am sure being sick hasn't been kind to my blood sugars. I haven't felt good enough to care.  

Day 16. Would I accept a cure?

Laying around miserable has given me time to think.   I started paying attention to my actions.  It seems that I relish in the attention of a bad thing.  Telling people I am miserable gets a reaction. Not cleaning the house gets reactions. I can also apologize about the state it is in. Not losing weight and putting in half the effort gets a reaction.   I can say I'm working but not put in the effort.   I'm feeling as though I am addicted to the struggle.   So as dr Phil would say.  How's that working for you?  My house is a mess.  I'm laying here sick.  My doctor gets after me over my weight and chance of diabetes.  

If I had a magic cure placed in front of me would I take it or would I not?    What if the cure took a minimum amount of effort?   Would I accept it then?    I would like to think I'd say yes.   But is staying where I am now the better payoff?   Time to go through my towards and away from motivations.  What motivates me to get out of the place I am in and what pulls me towards the place I want to go?  

Lasting change is built on very simple small steps.  What am I willing to start?  

Today I mostly had hot cider again and then one chicken pillow for dinner.  I think I'm starting to feel better.   I certainly hope so!!

Day 15

Still sick and rather short on sleep.  Really don't like being sick.  

Apple cider

Apple cider. Sure feels good on the throat!

Tortellini soup.  Turned out better than expected. A bit of the last of the cake. It was old and not tasting so good anymore. 

Apple cider

And more cider. 

So ready to feel better this sore throat cough and headache are no fun!!

Day 14 fighting the flu

I got hit with a vengeance last night.  By mid day today I was experiencing fever, chills, body aches, horrible cough and headache.  So today was a quiet day. I rested a lot drank a lot...apple cider and soda and water. Ate what I could grab without much effort. Hopefully I get over this fast.  I hate being sick!

Day 13. Getting sick...

Sick kids.  Never fun.  Now I feel like I'm getting it too. I've spent most of the day holding or cuddling with one or both of my boys. Food wise I've just grabbed what was convenient. 

10 am. Donut

11:00 pineapple upside down cake

12:30 jerky. Roll with turkey and butter

3 pm. Jerky a piece of cake

6:30. Arby's beef and cheddar a few fries. A piece of cake.  

Definitely not feeling so hot.   I hate colds.  No exercise today.   Heading to bed!

Day 12. Living on little sleep

I went to bed after 1:30 am last night.  So not good.  I've been staying up late all week.  Getting up at 6:30 left a lot to be desired and needless to say I didn't follow my usual routines.   My daughters birthday is today and she was still feeling sick and stayed home from school. I felt in a daze for the most part.   Took me back to when I worked night shifts.   I always craved sweets when tired.   Come to find out it is because your body looks for an energy boost.  My programming says sugar and carbs give me energy so I start loading up.   Definitely saw that today. 

Intake

8 am oatmeal

9:30 chocolate cake. (Tasted much better cold than lukewarm). 

1 pm village baker half sandwich and broccoli cheese soup.  Oh so good.  I was so hungry I inhaled it.  The turkey and provolone on squaw bread was delightful as well.   Yum!!

A piece of pizza

A piece of cake

7 pm Poppyseed chicken and salad carrots

Pineapple upside down cake.  My daughters choice for birthday cake.  So yum!!

I am remembering everything now.  I didn't keep so good of track today.   I feel like my brain has been disengaged today.  

I did get in a 5 min shrink session and 20 min on the bike. 

I read a post on go kaleo.com today that really hit home.  It was about small habits at a steady pace.  Making small changes that you can keep up instead of jumping all in and faltering.  She said it much better than I am right now so here is the link.  https://gokaleo.com/2013/09/30/habit-the-real-key/

The book the compound effect also talks about taking consistent small steps that soon give you the momentum you need.  It's a great book!

Well off to get much more sleep.  

Day 11

Sugar last night was 115, so not cool...Especially since I was checking it late, and I was going to bed really late.  Skipped the ningxia and it was 105 this morning.  I know it is from all those mini cheesecakes I had last night.  Oh they were so yummy!  I say all...but it was 3-4.  There was a time I would have eaten the whole dozen and not batted an eye.  Still no guilt.  I am making observations of my actions.  There is no reason to beat myself up for things that happened in the past.  That is something the old me would have done though.  I would get in a cycle of eating and hate that would spiral until I was so angry and full that I couldn't stuff anything more in.  My kids and husband paid the price for my anger at myself.  Over what I ate for goodness sake.  It was ridiculous.  So glad I worked through that and began to observe instead.  So what if I ate a lot.  Nothing I can do about it now.  I will learn from it and move forward.

Intake today --my sons 7th birthday

8:00  Pancake with strawberry yogurt
9:30 pancakes with lemon yogurt.

1:00 beef jerky and a mini cheesecake

3 pm half a ham sandwich, string cheese, a few bites of an apple and some potato chips.  Lemonade
chocolate cookies.  I let myself get too hungry again!  Chocolate milk
6:30  pizza, cream soda (we went to a christmas party for my hubby's work, at a bowling alley)  IT was tons of fun!  Since it is my son's birthday we took a Costco cake and shared it.  Came home with half still.  I ate a piece.  Somehow I got in a judgmental space and started eating another piece even though I wasn't hungry and it didn't taste good.  Caught myself and didn't finish it.  I think I got caught in a comparison game for a moment...which led to negative feelings.  Everyone has their agency and can eat what they want.  It is not for me to judge!  Cryptic enough for you? :)


Exercise

Ran 4 min at 5 mph.  Phew!

Decided to take it extra easy on my arm today.  Start low (10) and move up.  I'm using 2 5 lb dumbbells for that.  Its a good start! 
I'm up way late.  Was working on a project for hubby that was coming due.  Now it is really time to sleep.  My night sugar is 117.  Not bad considering I drank soda tonight.  Was not a carb friendly meal. Think I'll walk in place while brushing my teeth.  Hopefully the morning sugar will be much better!  Good night!!

Mini cheesecakes

2 (8oz) pkgs cream cheese

3/4 c sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

12-14 vanilla wafers or Oreos

Preheat oven to 350*F. Soften cream cheese. Add sugar to cream cheese and beat with an electric mixer until smooth.  Add vanilla and eggs.  Beating well after each egg is added.  Continue mixing until batter is free of lumps.  Line a muffin tin with cupcake liners putting one cookie (wafer or Oreo) in each.  Fill cups almost to the top with batter.  Bake at 350 for 15 min.  They will be a little wiggly in the center still when done.  Let cool for 5 minutes then refrigerate until cold. 

For chocolate filling add 2 T cocoa to the batter while mixing.  

My daughter loves to make these.  They are so tasty!!

Day 10 --preparation

I forgot to plan my day last night.  So did it first thing this morning.   I'm going make a point to check in every few hours today to make sure I stay on task.

Interesting results with blood sugar this morning.   I measured 94 last night had ningxia at 11 pm and this morning it was 106. Not as bad as the other day...but very interesting.  I woke up feeling rather hungry so maybe that is part of it.  

Awake at 6:30

8:00 oatmeal (better oats maple and brown sugar.  Yum!) with milk and a cup of chocolate milk. 

10:30 protein shake.  PPP, Just juiced greens (1tsp), fiber mix (1tsp) two frozen peaches.  1/4 c coconut milk and a cup of ice and water.
1:50 Turkey bacon and focaccia from kneaders
3:00 a couple of orange sticks
5:00 a couple of orange sticks
6:00 mini cheesecakes
7:30 turkey cranberry and stuffing sandwich.  I must be on a turkey kick!  this one was homemade though.  I cooked a turkey for dinner.  Yum.  ;)
Mini cheesecake.  These have become a favorite.  They always taste better than I remember.  My daughter loves to make them.  Hmmm recipe post here we come!  :)

The shrink session this morning was powerful.  Letting go.  I did the 5 minute mantra workout in my bedroom.  The room I had attempted to clean yesterday but did not get very far.   The room that deserves to be my sanctuary but instead becomes a graveyard for stuff that has no home.  Today I let go of the clutter.  I let go of the mess.  I let go of the confining feeling of stuff.  I deserve to be happy, I deserve to feel good.  I deserve to have a bedroom that welcomes me and is a safe haven when I need it.  The mantras today were:

I let go of the old.  I'm creating something new.  

The old me wading through and tripping over STUFF (something that undermines fantastic feelings) is no longer me.  I am now creating a version of myself full of joy and power.  Free from the confines of what if and maybe.  I am now filled with the strength to be the organized purposeful super fit mom that I know I can be!!

I was busy all day running to get Christmas and birthday presents figured out.  My daughter turns 12 on Friday and my son 7 tomorrow.  So I didn't get in a workout (other than the 5 minutes).  A crazy day! 

Day 9--feeling accomplished

Awake at 6:15 

FG 98. Looks like my experiment worked!   I love any number under 100 first thing in the morning!   According to the information I've read your hormones need to come back into balance before the body starts to release excess fat.  So that is my goal.  To bring the hormones back to balance.  This morning is a definite win!   Now to continue the experiment and see if I can do it again tomorrow. 

I had a three year old want to cuddle first thing this morning.   Can't say no to that! It rather made my morning slow however.  

Intake:

7:45 Apple

9:30 yogurt

11:00 pepper jack cheese and ritz. 

1:30 pizza

2:00 pizza

3:00 another piece of pizza
4 pm orange sticks
6:30 garlic and sea salt mahi mahi, salad with ranch, garlic roll  YUM!

Definitely had an off food day.  I didn't eat enough breakfast and it followed me the rest of the day.   I had a food plan that I didn't follow until dinner.  (better than nothing)  Will work on paying more attention to my plan tomorrow!

Exercise:

I was really slow getting to it today.   Got in 5 minutes this morning with shrink session. Then waited until 1:30 before I finished. Strong lifts and then 15 min on the treadmill.  I got in a mile at 4.6 mph. That is fantastic for me!   It was quite the stretch but felt amazing!!!

Ever have one of those days where you feel like what you are doing doesn't match how you look?  I had one of those days.  I felt sleek and strong.  Accomplished.  The mirror didn't show sleek and strong.  That's ok.  As I continue on my outside will begin to match the inside.  :)

Day 8. No diabetes!

Part of my journey includes two pregnancies with gestational diabetes.  The interesting thing about gestational diabetes is that you are more at risk if you gain a lot of weight in the first trimester.  That was me!   I would eat like crazy to avoid nausea.  Sometimes stuffing myself to the point of throwing up.  Not hard to do in those first few weeks.  I craved carbs like crazy as well.  It was almost as if my body was anticipating the restriction to come and getting them in as fast as possible.

Because of my two experiences with gestational diabetes my risk of developing full type 2 diabetes is significant.   Therefore I have continued checking my sugars and having lab work completed. To follow that aspect.  I am currently border line pre-diabetic. My last a1c was 5.8.  My morning sugar was 112 this morning.  For frame of reference.  Normal blood sugars are in the range of 80-120 and a1c is normal around 5.  Six plus is diabetic.  A morning fasting sugar should be less than 100. I tend to be conservative on what I believe my sugars should run. **disclaimer**  Your doctor may feel differently.  I am sharing my experiences and opinions and not medical advice.  Please consult your healthcare professional to get information tailored to your specific needs.  

So with all that being said.  I am going to start posting my morning sugar.  In an effort to track and figure out how my body works better.  :)

So fasting glucose (FG) this morning. 112

Last night right before bed it was 95. 

So why did this happen??  In pre-diabetes the liver is having trouble maintaining an even blood sugar.   Hormones including insulin and glucagon are out of whack.  The liver maintains glucose levels in a fasting state.  It is currently releasing too much sugar over night.  So what can I do to fix this?   Interestingly enough I can try a snack just before bed time.   Even though a lot of dieting advice says not to eat after 7 or so in this case it's the opposite.  I was actually a little hungry last night but chose not to eat because of time.  (Not listening to my body!). If I had a small protein rich snack I would have felt satisfied and my liver would not have panicked and sent so much sugar into my blood stream over night.  

My goal with blood sugar is an a1c of 5 and a FG of under 90. Totally possible.


My Intake today:
up at 6:30
7:30 apple
9:30 protein/green smoothie  Blueberries, pineapple, just juiced greens, chia seeds, fiber, perfectly paleo protein (vanilla) coconut milk, water and ice.
11:30 finished up the smoothie...was sipping it through the time.
12:30  needed to chew something.  roll turkey, cranberry and stuffing
1p.m.  I know I said I was done with pie, but that last piece was calling to me.  It still tasted good!
4 pm  pepper jack cheese and ritz crackers
6:15. I was out and about and decided to bag my meal plans and instead get a hot pastrami from subway.   Mmmm yum!  Had a few French fries too.  ;)

10:30 ningxia red

Exercise today.  I started a free program today where you say affirmations while you exercise.  It was amazing!  Felt more into my walk/run than I have in a while.  You can jump in here...

Best timing I've had for a long time.  Perhaps I can reach my goals!   

Today I took the leap and signed up for the website plan to eat.  It is an amazing meal planner.  You can share recipes with friends.  Get shopping lists.  Anything meal planning becomes easy. They had a 50% off sale today for cyber Monday.  If you join you can be my friend.  My username is debscooking.  I am working to import all my recipes so you can have access to them there as well.  Do check it out.  I love it so far!!

Blood sugar at 10:30 pm. 109.  I'm going to have a ningxia while I finish up the dishes.  Let's see how it looks in the morning.

Thanks for reading!