Day 16. Would I accept a cure?

Laying around miserable has given me time to think.   I started paying attention to my actions.  It seems that I relish in the attention of a bad thing.  Telling people I am miserable gets a reaction. Not cleaning the house gets reactions. I can also apologize about the state it is in. Not losing weight and putting in half the effort gets a reaction.   I can say I'm working but not put in the effort.   I'm feeling as though I am addicted to the struggle.   So as dr Phil would say.  How's that working for you?  My house is a mess.  I'm laying here sick.  My doctor gets after me over my weight and chance of diabetes.  

If I had a magic cure placed in front of me would I take it or would I not?    What if the cure took a minimum amount of effort?   Would I accept it then?    I would like to think I'd say yes.   But is staying where I am now the better payoff?   Time to go through my towards and away from motivations.  What motivates me to get out of the place I am in and what pulls me towards the place I want to go?  

Lasting change is built on very simple small steps.  What am I willing to start?  

Today I mostly had hot cider again and then one chicken pillow for dinner.  I think I'm starting to feel better.   I certainly hope so!!