Healthy Journey Day 138

It is Fast Sunday today, so with everything being different I am not using my template.

Weigh in:  196.6  I am glad that my weight doesn't effect my psyche any more.   It has been a long journey to get it there.  I stopped weighing for over a year, and then told myself when I started again that "I am who I am, no Shame, No Guilt, No judgement".   The scale only tells me my relationship to gravity.  No more, no less.   It doesn't tell me how much I ate, or exercised.  It is only one measurement of many in how my journey is progressing.   This measurement isn't too accurate either considering I can drink a lot or eat to much salt and totally skew the results. 

Morning Blood Sugar:  99  I actually took this around 10:50 am, It was a rocky night.  I had a lot on my mind and dreamed about it all then couldn't sleep.

Intake:   6:00 pm, two garlic rolls, a hamburger, a few chips, strawberries with "dip" (I mix greek yogurt and brown sugar together.  Yum!)  Ice cream. 

Today I have been working on my communication skills.   I was up part of the night working through things in my head and spent much of the evening talking to my hubby.   It is good to feel listened to, and conversed with.   The message from the bishopric today talked about communication cancer.  Which is personal isolation where we feel alone and isolated in our opinions thoughts and feelings.   Maybe even become a victim of those thoughts and feelings.  I have found myself in that place before.  Thinking I knew what the other person was thinking and having unvoiced expectations dashed.   Expectations can not be met if they are not voiced.   It is really easy to feel a victim if we do not share or talk things out.  I once talked to my husband about how I felt our relationship was strained when I was only having one dessert a week.   He responded that he never felt that and I realized that it was all in my head.  I created the reasons and excuses, they were not reality.  

So today I am working to get out of my head and into conversation.   Out of playing victim because I wanted something that I did not ask for.   Out of being silently indignant.   No more hiding my emotions and eating my feelings.  IT is OK to share and feel.   It is OK to talk it out.  It is only through talking and listening that we become closer to those we talk with and care for.   Listening might actually be more important than talking sometimes. That would be an entirely different post though.