Today I have felt tired, lonely, sore (my triceps and shoulders are really burning from the workout yesterday) and just not good. It is a bit hard to have my hubby out of town, and I know I am reacting to that. I eat to cover up the emotion and put on a good front. It is easier to pretend everything is ok, even if it isn't. Sometimes I don't want to admit the emotion. I don't want to feel it. That makes it real. If I swallow the pain...the discomfort, the moments when I feel unsure then I don't have to experience it. Because that is scary.
In reality if I let myself feel it it would pass. In fact it would pass quicker than if I hold it back. Eating away my feelings doesn't get rid of them, it just hides them. I learned long ago how to eat my feelings. I still remember vividly the first time. So back to the main question. Is this really self sabotage? I would say, no. I am using the tactics I have learned to handle my emotions. I am not sabotaging I am doing my best to care for myself. I really had to look into myself and investigate what I was doing to understand this.
So how do I switch modes?
First Acknowledge. Now that I know why I am wanting to eat more, I can pay attention and evaluate it better.
Second Ask. Why? Why? am I eating this right now? What am I feeling?
Third: Adapt. What else can I do to help these feelings? How can I feel the discomfort and not eat.
Some ideas are: Call a friend, Read a book, listen to positive content. Give a hug. Get a hug (need those happy hormones!) Go for a walk. Take a bath. Write in your journal.
Any other ideas? What do you think? Self Sabotage or Self Care? Which is it??
2 comments:
Count this as a hug from Mom!
Thanks mom!
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