Friday, March 6, 2015

Day 65 of 100--Self Sabotage



I have noticed that I am gravitating to sweets...my first instinct is to get angry at myself and wonder why I am sabotaging my results.  The question is am I really sabotaging, or am I after something else.   My prior programming (yes I am using that term) says that when I don't feel good I eat, when I am uncomfortable, or angry or depressed I eat.  If I am tired or dehydrated I crave sweets.   So I know this, but still I wonder why I am sabotaging my eating. 
Today I have felt tired, lonely, sore (my triceps and shoulders are really burning from the workout yesterday) and just not good.  It is a bit hard to have my hubby out of town, and I know I am reacting to that.  I eat to cover up the emotion and put on a good front.  It is easier to pretend everything is ok, even if it isn't.  Sometimes I don't want to admit the emotion.  I don't want to feel it.  That makes it real.  If I swallow the pain...the discomfort, the moments when I feel unsure then I don't have to experience it.  Because that is scary.

In reality if I let myself feel it it would pass.  In fact it would pass quicker than if I hold it back.  Eating away my feelings doesn't get rid of them, it just hides them.   I learned long ago how to eat my feelings.  I still remember vividly the first time.  So back to the main question.   Is this really self sabotage?   I would say, no.  I am using the tactics I have learned to handle my emotions.  I am not sabotaging I am doing my best to care for myself.  I really had to look into myself and investigate what I was doing to understand this.

So how do I switch modes?

First Acknowledge.  Now that I know why I am wanting to eat more, I can pay attention and evaluate it better.

Second Ask.   Why?  Why? am I eating this right now?   What am I feeling?

Third: Adapt.  What else can I do to help these feelings?   How can I feel the discomfort and not eat.

Some ideas are:  Call a friend, Read a book, listen to positive content.  Give a hug.  Get a hug (need those happy hormones!)  Go for a walk.  Take a bath.  Write in your journal.

Any other ideas?   What do you think?  Self Sabotage or Self Care?   Which is it??

2 comments:

Linda said...

Count this as a hug from Mom!

debnu said...

Thanks mom!