Day 52 of 100---self sabotage??

Wednesday this week I was commenting to my friend how I had such a great blood sugar number and I felt that my eating was exactly where I wanted it to be on Tuesday.   It was feeling good.  Wednesday I started feeling like all of that was lost, and then today I have been eating with abandon.   True when you begin exercise routines your body wants to maintain your weight and so you have a greater appetite.  In that I also am in the part of my cycle where I begin to crave chocolate and other sweets.  But this is all feeling like excuses.

I admit I have trouble with self motivation and half of the time I end up writing in my food and posting almost as an afterthought.   So the question is am I doing this subconsciously to myself because I don't want to lose the weight?  Is there something that I am doing that I don't believe myself capable of?   What am I afraid of?   Being strong?  Healthy? 

Or is this all emotional eating because I have not been feeling good?  I know I eat when I am uncomfortable...maybe that is all it is and I don't need to look any farther. 

Either way, I am going to pay more attention to my thoughts and focus on my water intake this week.  I want it to become a true habit.  64 oz a day!

And truth be told I am changing my life one day at a time, it is normal for things to move slowly...one successful day a week will turn into two and then three until soon I will only see the old me once a week or once a month.   That sounds like true progression.   Really what I am thinking is that I don't need to worry about my "fall off the wagon"   I had a day where I saw my possibilities and now I can strive to have another one.  It isn't about jumping into the new me it is about forming the new me one step at a time!!  I give myself permission to take it one day and one step at a time instead of all or nothing!